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What is Positive Parenting?

“Because I said so!!”

How many times did your parents say this phrase to you? How often were you spanked as a child? How much yelling was there in your house growing up?

It’s safe to say that parenting styles have changed over the years. While spanking may have been deemed okay years ago, most parents agree now that hitting a child is not okay, for any reason. Shame and yelling are also, thankfully, out of fashion.

Many of today’s parents are trying to use positive parenting techniques instead.

What is Positive Parenting?

Positive parenting refers to a parenting style that relies on warmth, nurturing, and mindfulness. This type of parenting reinforces good behavior and avoids using harsh forms of discipline.

Positive parenting has been shown to facilitate numerous favorable outcomes. It has been linked to better grades in school, better behavior, more positive self-concepts, less substance abuse, and better overall mental health.

Strategies for Positive Parenting

Positive Parenting has three main components:

1. Regulate Your Own Emotions

How often have you had a bad day at work and yelled at your kids when you got home? It is very common for parents, either consciously or unconsciously, to take their bad emotions out on their children.

To parent positively means you have got to get a hold of your own emotions so you only interact with your child in a kind, loving, and honest manner.

2. Focus on Strengthening the Parent-Child Connection

It can be easier said than done, but each interaction with your child must strengthen the connection between you both. When a parent-child connection is strong, the child will feel safe and be able to trust.

3. Love Your Child Unconditionally

Many punishment techniques throughout the years rely on a parent “withdrawing” their love. This conditional love can cause great emotional and psychological harm to your child. Instead, focus on being a coach and mentor to your child, offering them loving guidance and reassurance to help them manage their emotions and behaviors.

It can also be very helpful to get some help from a family therapist who can help guide you in becoming the loving and compassionate parent you want to be.

If you would like to explore counseling options, please be in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

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Yes, New Fathers Suffer from Depression Too!

Having a baby is an event that typically brings a lot of joy and excitement for couples. However, roughly 60% of new mothers suffer from postpartum depression (PPD), with symptoms being either moderate or severe. Fortunately, PPD is a common health issue with much discussion and content outlining the symptoms and treatment.

What’s not commonly discussed is that new fathers can absolutely suffer from depression as well. While this depression is usually caused by stress and lack of sleep, and not hormonal shifts, the fact remains that men can and do suffer from PPD. In fact, according to the JAMA Network, roughly 10% of new fathers suffer from PPD.

Other research by APA has also shown that a “similar proportion” of new fathers experience some form of depression after childbirth. Since the frequency of depression is fairly similar between new mothers and new fathers, PPD can no longer be viewed as a woman’s issue.

Because of these recent findings, researchers are now recommending that both new mothers AND new fathers (or expectant mothers and fathers) get regular screenings for signs of depression. This is especially important in new mothers and fathers with a history of mental health issues in their own past, or in their family lineage.

Causes of Male PPD

A study out of the University of Nevada, Las Vegas published in the Journal of Family Issues found there were a handful of common causes of PPD in new fathers:

No Education

Fathers simply didn’t know they could suffer from PPD and so ignored any symptoms they were experiencing, instead of focusing on supporting their partner.

Gender Expectations

Many men feel the need to be “manly” and act like a “tough guy” that isn’t bothered by emotions.

Repressed Feelings

Men are often reluctant to share their feelings, let alone seek help because of them.

With these new findings, hopefully, more men will pay attention to how they are feeling and seek help should they feel depression creeping on.

If you or a loved one are a new father that is suffering from PPD and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.

 

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How Religious Therapy Can Help While Churches Remain Closed Due to COVID-19

For many people, their religion is a big part of their life. Faith and our connection to God are how many of us get through life’s most difficult challenges.

But in recent weeks and months, as the country and world have locked down due to the pandemic, it has been impossible for people to continue to worship at their church, mosque, or synagogue. This has caused many to not only feel isolated but also anxious and depressed.

Religious Therapy: Talk to a Counselor AND God

Traditional therapy has been a means for people to deal with their depression and anxiety for decades. But religious therapy is a rather new offering and one that is helping many people during this, particularly challenging time.

While it may seem that religion and therapy are in direct contrast to each other, the truth is, faith and therapy should not be mutually exclusive. Prayers can be powerful tools for change and so can the mental tools offered by a therapist.

And while therapy will never replace a person’s religion, it can be a wonderful compliment to it, particularly to those people who are suffering right now due to the lockdowns.

Finding a Faith-Based Therapist

Faith-based therapists are themselves religious and enjoy working with clients who share a strong faith in God. These therapists encourage clients to explore psychological issues against the backdrop of religion. The client’s faith is very much a part of the treatment plan and God is right there in the room with the client and therapist.

You have a couple of options when looking for a faith-based therapist near you: You can use an online therapy network such as Talkspace to find a faith-based therapist in your local area.

If you are someone that lives in a rural area or smaller community, and you have trouble finding a faith-based therapist near you, you can always choose online therapy. This means you would connect with a faith-based therapist via online chat.

Exploring your faith in therapy is a way of knowing yourself to the fullest extent. And that in turn only deepens your faith. If you are struggling during the pandemic because you’re not able to attend your local place of worship, consider giving religious therapy a try.

And, if you’re interested in exploring treatment, please get in touch with me!

 

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The Best Foods for Pre- and Post-Workout

You’ve committed to an exercise routine, but do you find you run out of energy halfway through your workout? Or maybe you feel good during your workout but kind of crash a half-hour later?

Your body requires proper nutrition to perform optimally. With this in mind, here are the best foods to eat before and after your workout.

OPTIMAL PRE-WORKOUT NUTRITION

Eating the right foods before your workout will help to fuel your body so you can perform your best. Here are some of the best foods to eat before your workout.

Carbohydrates

The glucose derived from carbs will help to power your muscles during your workout. Some great carb options for a pre-workout snack are bananas, whole wheat toast, oatmeal, fruit salad, and pasta.

Protein

Eating protein before exercise has been shown to increase muscle protein synthesis. Eating protein before your workout will help your muscles recover and help you to see more gains.

Some good pre-workout protein options include eggs, meats, yogurt, and whey protein drinks. If you opt for the protein shakes, just be sure your protein powder doesn’t contain copious amounts of sugar or unnecessary fillers.

Fat

Glycogen from carbs is what will help fuel your shorter, high-intensity workouts, but to fuel your longer moderate-intensity workouts, you’ll want to make sure you eat some healthy fats before your workout. Some great fat options are eggs, full-fat dairy, avocado, and fatty fish like salmon.

OPTIMAL POST-WORKOUT NUTRITION

You’ve eaten the right foods to power your body through your workout and now you are done, stretched, and showered. That doesn’t mean your work is done. Your post-workout nutrition is just as important as your pre-workout nutrition.

You see, when you were working out, your muscles used up all of your glycogen stores for fuel. Some of the proteins in your muscles also got broken down and damaged by physical activity. Your body naturally wants to rebuild and replenish and so you’ve got to make sure you give it the right tools to do so.

And guess what those tools are? They are the very same MACRO nutrients you gave your body before your workout: carbs, protein, and healthy fats. Here are a few more ideas of foods to try under each category:

Carbs

  • Sweet potatoes
  • Quinoa
  • Rice cakes
  • Potatoes
  • Dark, leafy green vegetables

Protein

  • Cottage cheese
  • Chicken
  • Protein bar
  • Tuna

Fats

  • A salad with olive oil
  • Nut butter
  • Trail mix (dried fruits and nuts)

The bottom line is, if you give your body the proper nutrition, it will work and work hard for you, so you can reach your fitness goals! So be sure to eat the right foods before and after each workout.

 

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